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Trauma: another word for the stress a caregiver experiences?
I’ve written much about loss and grief. A note from a friend leads me to one more possible label for my experience.
Obvious but unspoken: Evelyn is going to die. (But maybe not soon)
The starkness of the words in black type on a white screen prods us to want more information. Why are we—why am I—surprised by something so certain?
How and why caregivers order their days around another’s needs
If accommodation is healthy and normal, why does it feel like such a burden to the caregiver?
Since we are our memory, what does this mean for her—and for me?
“We ARE our memory,” a friend said to me. And this adds another layer of sadness—and resolve—as I watch my wife’s memory fade and falter.
So many Monday Meditations, but no more new ones for a while
I’m taking a break from writing new Monday Meditations. But search the archive to find one that will help you this week.
I’m still surprised by grief, and I’m still surprised that’s true
I’m alone in a way that will never be remedied. And I’m still coming to terms with that.
Monday Meditations: Portraits of a king, Part Five: the lament
Sometimes there's great gain in asking ourselves, "What specifically do we need from God?" and then telling him what we decided!
June 22, 2025: It’s an important date, but I almost forgot why
52 years . . . and I almost forgot!
Monday Meditations: Portraits of a king, Part Four: The loyalty
David stayed true to the commitment he and Jonathan had made to each other, long after Jonathan was gone. What can we learn from such an example of faithfulness?
A voice from the past, a reflection that makes us sad—and proud
Sometimes memories from 20 years ago make us sad. Sometimes they do something more. That’s what happened for us this week.
Monday Meditations: Portraits of a king, Part Three: The friend
“I told Siri I was lonely, and she apologized. So that was nice.” But when it comes to caregivers and friendship, we all need better than ‘nice.’
Confirming today the truth of two conclusions reached long ago
These are not new thoughts to me. But now I find they’re guiding me in ways I wouldn’t have imagined.
Monday Meditations: Portraits of a king, Part Two: the enemy
The giant David faced reminds us of the giant looming large in our lives: Ugly, strong, and inspiring fear. Will God help us fight this battle, too?
Just two words, but they capture the essence of our days with Evelyn
We’re glad she seems generally healthy. But sometimes we grow weary with figuring out the diseases daily damaging her brain.
Monday Meditation: Portraits of a king, Part One: The choice
All of us know the problem with a wrong choice. And every caregiver is beset with the challenges of making many choices. Maybe that’s why we resonate with the story of Samuel’s difficult task to choose the future king.
It’s a question for every caregiver, but the answer isn’t easy
How is this moment preparing me for the opportunities to come? What will they be, and will I be ready? While dealing with today, I do well to think about tomorrow.
Learning to trust, Part 4: A man of action, a spirit of submission
Which part of Nehemiah’s pattern would you do well to imitate first?
Questions after a week with Covid: one disease, two experiences
I can tell you exactly what it meant for me to have Covid. Evelyn suffered, too, but we could only guess at how she felt.
Learning to Trust, Part 3: He obeyed God and wasn’t happy about it
In Jonah’s words of distress from the pit of his suffering, we can find help for our own prayers today.
‘Thanks to dementia’ their stories encourage me to tell my own
“Writing is an act of ego.” I’ll agree. But as readers write in response to these posts, I see how writing can be about so much more than the writer.