A word of welcome—and a few suggestions—for new readers of this blog
Since the early months of this site’s posts, readers have told me, “I recommended your blog to a friend.” This continued till my last post, and maybe it’s still happening today.
So I decided to say a word to new readers of this blog.
First, my heart is with you. No one understands a caregiver’s journey like another caregiver, and I am truly sorry for what you’re experiencing.
I have no illusion that your path perfectly matches the one I discovered. I’ve said more than once, “There’s not a script for this, but there is a pattern.” And at least some readers have seen their pattern in what I shared from ours.
If you’re exhausted and frustrated because of the unfamiliar duties thrust upon you,
if you’re afraid you’re not up to the task and your inadequacies will somehow diminish your loved one’s care,
if you find yourself wondering where this illness will take your loved one and what demands and decisions it will thrust upon you,
if you wonder how long it will last and how you’ll have the strength to cope,
and
if you’re afraid or ashamed to tell most people what you’re thinking and fearing and hoping for . . .
I understand. I suspect every other caregiver reader of this blog resonates with your tragedy, too, and maybe that’s why many of them stayed with this blog week after week. They found something in our story that echoed theirs.
So, second, maybe it will help you just to hear how another caregiver coped. I never presumed to give advice or explain the diseases attacking my wife. I simply told what we were facing and how it affected me—week after week after week.
If you can identify with our journey or my feelings, that will be enough. There’s great solace in hearing strains of your own lament in the notes of another’s song.
Third, I do have some suggestions for you and any other new readers.
• You may want to start at the beginning of this blog. Likely, you’re facing something different from what we were experiencing by the time I finished my posts. If nothing else, skim posts from throughout the years to see where our walk was like yours today.
• You may want to read more than our story. Click on the “Share Your Story” link at the home page, and you’ll discover a long list of experiences from other caregivers.
In fact, these pages are still open to you if you’d like to tell your story here. You’ll be helping others. (And, probably yourself, too.)
• You may be interested in the “Monday Meditations,” devotional thoughts based on a Bible story or idea. Although it’s never been the purpose of this blog to teach the Bible or share spiritual truths, these meditations do add that dimension. Some believers found them helpful.
Fourth, feel free to let me and other readers hear from you. There’s nothing wrong with making a comment on a blog post that appeared years ago. And if you write me, I promise I’ll answer you.
We really do need each other. One of the most important lessons I realized as I wrote was this: We can’t do this alone.
Now I’m seeking equilibrium on another route. Actually, it’s a wave, the weaving, bobbing wave of grief: Sometimes it threatens to drown; other times it invigorates with renewed realization of God’s providence and my friends’ love. For the help I need these days, I’m listening to what others say about grief instead of trying to write something new myself.
But if my now-finished caregiving journey can help some who are just beginning, I will be gratified indeed.