Another Alzheimer’s caregiver I know kept a journal at first, with notes and stories he thought he might share sometime.“But after a while I didn’t have as much to write,” he said. Not that much was changing. Not that much was new. That’s how it is with me now.

“Your time is valuable. Share it!” Advice I wouldn’t have expected to read. Truth I’ve discovered again and again—especially now that I’m a caregiver.

First my wife and today my dad. I never would have expected these caregiving duties—or the blessings that came because of them.

Holding tight to the past is not a strategy that brings peace. I learned an important lesson from a caregiver friend.

“It’s easy to stay in denial,” I admitted to him with quivering voice when he gave us the test results that day. And it’s still easy. Even easier, I’m deciding, to be in denial about being in denial.

I wrote this poem the night Howard gave me a beautiful diamond, more than 50 years ago. I’m as committed to him today as I was then.

I was a caretaker two years before I was willing publicly to wear the label. Today I’m thinking about what taking that step has accomplished for me.