Our 50th wedding anniversary celebration: Very nice, nice enough

Among the dozens of good wishes we received last Thursday on our 50th wedding anniversary, two stand out.

Our daughter posted a memory on Facebook from nine years ago, reporting that Evelyn, on our 41st anniversary said to me, “Let’s go for 50.” Our daughter’s post: “They made it. Happy 50th.”

Yep, we made it. But certainly not in the shape Evelyn had in mind a decade ago.

One of her cousins recognized this with a private message he sent me: “Realizing it wasn’t the 50th you guys would have wanted, I’m hoping it was enjoyable nevertheless.” It was, and he’s right. This was not the 50th we would have envisioned. 

Rejected options

Not that we’d ever made any great plans for a celebration this year. If things had been different, I don’t know how we would have celebrated. A cruise or a trip to someplace we’d never visited? A romantic return to a spot we’ve loved before? A big open house with an invitation to everyone we know? A quiet dinner with our kids and their families at someplace special?

I don’t know. But I do know none of those options would have worked for us this year.

I had thought of simply letting the day pass with little attention. We’d scroll through Facebook greetings and go someplace better than Panera for dinner. But one day I was thinking about several who have reached out to us in special ways, whose hospitality or kindness I wanted to return. And an idea began to take form. I wanted to host each of them here for a meal. Why not have several at the same time for a celebration dinner to mark the day?

Simple, but special . . .

To make it a little special, I called it a “Surprise Dinner” and told invitees the surprise (It’s our anniversary!) would be revealed when they arrived. Of nine guests, three actually were surprised, including the one gal at the dinner who had been in our wedding party 50 years ago! Everybody else had figured it out ahead of time. But that didn’t dampen the festive atmosphere.

I put our wedding pictures into a slideshow that played in a loop on our TV. A nearby digital frame showed pictures of Evelyn and me and our kids through the decades. Our kids sent a box of flowers that made three bouquets to display in the living room and on the serving table.

We had gold and white helium balloons and roses and candles in low glass vases in a line down the center of our dining table.

The cake, with more yellow and white roses, said, “50 . . . WOW!”

All this was arranged by a friend I had asked to help me host. With my permission ahead of time, Sheryl and Ed Overstreet took over, arranging every detail, ordering the food, setting it up when it was delivered, and bringing beverages to the table with dinner and coffee with dessert. They washed every dish and helped me put leftovers in the fridge after everyone had left. I had not anticipated how much I would need or appreciate their help.

. . . but not easy

So, yes, we made it. Not the anniversary I would have anticipated, but nice nevertheless.

And not easy.

Evelyn smiled for pictures with our guests as they arrived. As always happens with buffets, she was first in line, and she seemed to enjoy the food.

She grinned at the happy banter around the table, but she didn’t stay there long. Typical of most evenings these days, she was back and forth to the table, on and off the couch, to and from the bathroom, and not really happy with any option. From time to time this friend or another would try to calm or engage her, and I took her out of the room more than once. She fiddled with her waistband and sometimes displayed a pained expression whose cause is usually impossible to discern. I tried to concentrate on the pleasant conversation I was enjoying.

50 years. We made it. Not as we might have anticipated, but nice nevertheless. I’m glad we did it.

And I’m pretty sure I’ll not ever plan something like it for the two of us again.